How Things Are Going

I receive messages from both people I know and people I don’t that say things like:

“I love your content”

“You’re doing so well”

“You’ve inspired me to…”

Those messages mean the world to me, particularly now as I’ve reached what feels like a darker chapter in my journey.

Why do I feel that way?

Stagnation - Despite creating what I believe to be as good or better content than I have in the past, my accounts have effectively stopped growing. Their growth is directly tied to my business growth, and my business is not self sustainable as is.

Doubt - About whether I’m cut out for this. I wonder if I’m mistaken in choosing a path that takes away from time with family, friends, and dog. About if my discomfort on this trip is a sign that I’m not the traveler I thought I was.

Fear - What if this doesn’t work? After years of winnowing down what I want to do, am I going to be thirty and still without a dedicated path? Am I going to be able to achieve my dreams in life this way?

It’s easy to see someone traveling in cool places on Instagram and think their lives are so great. I’ve done it myself.

Feelings are a powerful thing - potentially the most powerful force in the human world if they’re permitted. Despite how trying these most recent days have been, I remind myself of this quote before I take action to redirect:

“We suffer more in imagination than in reality.” - Seneca

Things like walking, going outside at all, remembering my plan for the year, relating to other people that’ve been in the same position, and finally, understanding that as bad things might feel - they’re going to work out.

I don’t know how this goes. I’ll enjoy all there is to enjoy for the rest of my trip before I head home on the 21st, striving to make the best content I can. Once back, I’ll see how things go. If I had to bet, I’d say that I keep to the plan I’ve set for the year, and reflect on everything during the holidays.

Sincerely,

Jacob

P.S. Iraq is okay, haven’t enjoyed it as much as I thought I would. Might be more a reflection of me than it.