Where does confidence come from?

As I listened to a new favorite podcast of mine, The Pocket with Chris Griffin, the subject of confidence came up.

Chris and his guest referenced a quote from the successful businessman and content creator, Alex Hormozi:

"You don't become confident by shouting affirmations in the mirror, but by having a stack of undeniable proof that you are who you say you are. Outwork your self doubt.”

Repetition - why would you be confident at public speaking, shooting free throws, or writing, if you’ve never done them? But if you’ve spoken publicly one-hundred times, shot one-thousand free throws, or wrote a book… you follow me.

Confidence is defined as the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust.

In this case, I’m referencing self-confidence - the feeling or belief you can rely on yourself.

But there is an antecedent to the phase of your life where you become conscious of your ability to live in a way that builds self-confidence.

Childhood.

A child that has parents who express their unconditional love from the day they’re born are nurtured with a deeply engrained sense of worth and value. It’s not to say that other life events and circumstances can’t rattle the foundation, but it is a tremendous advantage in facing off the hurdles life throws.

In fact, I think the self esteem that the unconditional love of parents builds is the foundation of a person’s ability to grow their confidence. It’s not easy to build confidence in life, by definition it requires facing challenges down repeatedly. Even through the challenges in my own life, I neither disliked myself, nor could ever think of why I wasn’t capable of whatever I set out for.

It’s not to say people who don’t receive that support from their parents are incapable, far from it - but it’s an undeniable advantage, and arguably the most important thing parents can do.

Your parents are your strength before you have your own. I’m grateful for mine in this respect, particularly as I see so many adults with deep rooted self esteem issues that make achievement in life much harder.

Harder, but not impossible. You can’t control what happens to you, but you can control your response.

Sincerely,

Jacob

P.S. New content style will be published soon - I both feel great about it, and am terrified about how it will hit. Only one way to find out…