Where have the kids gone?

Of the many differences I’ve noticed traveling to diverse countries around the world, the significantly greater presence of a particular group of people has been evident.

Children

I notice far more children outside the United States than I do within.

Countries in the Western world have an incredibly low average of children being born:

United States - 1.6

Canada - 1.3

United Kingdom - 1.53

France - 1.84

Australia - 1.51

As you may guess, anything less than 2.1 is a population in decline.

There’s a lot to unpack as to why the majority of the world is trending down in population growth. A single factor is not entirely responsible.

Personally, I’ve always wanted kids.

Why? It’s difficult to articulate beyond the obvious - I was a member of a family with two kids and two parents, and I quite liked it. All of my friends were kids, and I enjoyed them as well.

My parents split when I was thirteen, and my sister and I did not always get along, but nonetheless - I loved and enjoyed my family (still do).

It wasn’t until recently that I got to experience a small taste of what it might actually be like having children. My de facto brother has a two-year old that I consider my nephew. I have been around him since he was born - my first ever regular time spent around a baby.

I feel a love for that little boy in a way I’ve never loved before, and he’s not even mine. The sense of meaning and connection one receives from such a relationship, is magical.

And so with that in mind, you may understand how saddened I was at a recent conversation I had with a married couple while traveling.

We spoke of many things, that eventually lead to why a healthy, viable, financially stable couple in their thirties did not have children.

Their reason: “We don’t want them... our life is good…”

There’s a lot to be said for the idea of “live and let live” - essentially, people can do whatever they please, so long as they do not harm others in doing so.

One might view another’s lack of desire for children as just that… except a greater societal trend away from having children is doing harm to others.

What if your parents had felt the same way?

All the life experiences you’ve ever had, never to exist. Are we to live in such a way that our primary focus is ourselves in perpetuity, even ignoring the obvious gain one has from having children? Are we to believe that because children are challenging and demand our time, that they are not a net positive in our lives.

Can people really be so stupid, immature, and selfish? Apparently so.

Bear this in mind as it pertains to me:

I am a single, young man, free to do anything I wish, without anyone to care for.

My entire life, both now and before I began traveling so much, would be tremendously affected by marriage and children.

And guess what?

I welcome it. The idea of being in total control of my schedule as more important than the love, sacrifice, and meaning derived from creating and maintaining a family, is as good as mental illness as far as I’m concerned.

As a society, we need to look in the mirror and have an honest conversation about what needs to change. We are in a worse position to improve society, if there isn’t a society of the future to improve for.

To end on a positive note:

I shared my recent exploration of the Amazon Rainforest with a family of six. Two parents in their 50s or 60s, with four kids - two boys, two girls, between the ages of 14 and 23. They were a family full of love and laughter that I so greatly enjoyed my time with (I wish I could’ve carried on with them). They were some of my favorite people I’ve ever met anywhere in the world.

I hope the world looks more like they do, for the sake of my future children.

Sincerely,

Jacob

P.S. Wonder what my future wife is up to.